Originally posted August 11, 2012
WARNING: Read at your own risk.
People wonder from time to time about their relationships with others. Come on, ‘fess up, don’t you think about whether that person or this one is a true friend to you? Or maybe I am the only one.
When I was young, I was very trusting and took things at face value. Then life happened and I was terribly disappointed by one so-called friend after another. I reached a point of total cynicism about people. I trusted very few tried and true associates.
Along came social-networking where you can be “friends” with thousands of people including some you have never met nor will ever meet. We are all in search of those that are there for us when needed. It is a quick and flippant thing to post our troubles and receive instant feedback that we are wonderful while others create problems for us. It is like a drug that gives a false sense of life events.
I want more.
Today, I have a much more realistic view of people and the relationships I have with them. I have those few friends that have been there for years always ready with the truth even if it hurts. Now, that is a true friend. There are some that are on the peripheral of my relationship wheel that help when needed and are gentler in their interactions with me as I am with them, because we have not yet developed that level of camaraderie. Some of them will grow and some never will. Next, comes a line of people who I am friendly with but not really friends. Lastly is a group who pretend to be friends but I know not to turn my back in their presence unless I want to feel the sharp pain of betrayal.
One more thing I finally learned about any relationship is that one person can’t keep it together. Both people in any relationship have to want it and do their part. This is true of spouses, siblings, children, friends, business associates, and enemies. In a communication workshop years ago, the statement was made that to stop an argument, let the ball drop. Conversations being the ball tossed back and forth. It is not enough to catch the ball and not throw it back, but just let it fall between you. It works! These words have saved me many a problem, yet if I didn’t let it fall, it brought pain for both parties.
I use social sites to keep in touch that I wouldn’t otherwise. I don’t do the drama or the extra activities and I use the unfriend button for people who start it. But if you ever want to know who your real friends are, start a blog about an event that is important in your life and see how many followers you get. I have eighteen lovely souls who are concerned enough to know how I am that they visit my site.
Thanks for reading my ramblings. Today is one of those days where I just needed to talk. You see, this is the second anniversary of my oldest grandson’s death. He would have been 20 this year.
I am happy you have ventured in to my blog and hope you return. Maybe one day, you will also feel comfortable enough to add a comment and let me add you to my list of people that I would like to know.